10/22/2017

DETIK PERTAMA KALI BERGELAR IBU

Pertama kali,
Saat merasai detik melahirkan,
Saat melihat seorang bayi dalam pegangan doktor,
Waktu itu,
Dunia seakan berdesing seketika,
Bagai ada suara berbisik sayup,
Kau sudah melahirkan seorang insan,
Lahirnya putih bersih tiada dosa dan nista,
Coraklah dia sebaiknya.


Tubuhku terasa sungguh lemah dan tak berdaya,
Sebaik usai semua,
Hati hanya berlagu sayu,
Begini ibumu melahirkanmu,
Begini sakitnya,
Nah kini kau tahu.


Tak kusangka,
Aku baru saja melalui detik seperti kematian itu,
Sakitnya benar-benar tak terkira,
Namun tubuh kecil yang sempat ku lihat tadi,
Bagai mengubat segalanya yang kurasai beberapa saat sebelumnya.


Sungguh,
Masih banyak yang belum aku siapkan untuk menjadi seorang ibu,
Masih banyak yang belum aku pelajari,
Yang perlu aku betulkan dan baiki,
Tak terkata,
Aku masih punya kurang yang banyak sekali,
Namun Tuhan mungkin lebih tahu,
Kata-kata ibuku terimbau kembali,
Dari kenakalan anak-anaklah kita belajar menjadi lebih matang,
Terasa sebak seketika,
Tuhan mahu aku jadi lebih matang,
Tuhan mahu aku kenal erti pengorbanan,
Yang banyak sekali,
Dari detik pertama lagi aku bergelar seorang ibu,
Tuhan mahu aku menghargai ibu ayahku lebih lagi,
Tuhan mahu aku lebih dekat denganNya,
Tuhan kurniakan aku rezeki supaya aku lebih bersyukur dan selalu berdoa padaNya,
Tuhan tahu aku akan belajar lebih lagi dari kehadiran anak ini.


Hingga kini,
Aku masih belajar,
Aku masih dalam pengembaraanku sebagai hamba,
Ada masa tersungkur juga,
Ada masa ku akui aku masih lemah dan tidak mengerti,
Namun aku belajar terlalu banyak,
Banyak dari yang aku sangka,
Aku faham sesuatu yang dulunya tak pernah aku fahami,
Atau yang aku fikir aku sudah mengerti tapi sebenarnya tidak,
Aku mulai kenal dalamnya kasih sayang ibu ayahku terhadapku,
Aku mengerti perasaan-perasaan yang baru dalam hidupku,
Terlalu banyak.


Aku takkan mampu untuk jadi yang sempurna,
Walaupun buat anakku,
Namun aku ingin jadi yang terbaik,
Dan untuk sampai ke destinasi itu,
Aku harus lebih kuat,
Fizikal dan emosi,
Aku harus lebih tabah menghadapi liku-liku,
Aku tak boleh mudah rebah,
Kerana aku perlu tiba ke destinasi itu,
Destinasi menjadi ibu yang mithali, dan hamba Allah yang bertaqwa,
Itulah destinasi seorang ibu yang solehah.


Doakan aku teman-teman,
Doakan aku kuat,
Sentiasa,
Dalam apa jua keadaan,

Moga aku tidak pernah lupakan Tuhan.


P/S: Anakku, membesarlah dengan sihat dan jadilah insan beriman beilmu berguna dunia dan akhirat. Itu saja harapan ibumu. WIth lots of love.

10/02/2017

WARNA

Setiap dari kita punya berbeza pendapat dan penilaian tentang warna. Ini pandangan saya tentang warna :)

Warna punya banyak erti. Warna mampu menggambarkan pelbagai emosi. Warna juga bisa memberi makna.

Setiap warna yang hadir dalam hidup, terlihat atau tidak, sangat berharga dalam hidup jika diteliti. Seorang isteri memperlihatkan kecantikannya di hadapan suami degan warna. Seorang anak kecil mengenal dunia dengan warna. Seorang programmer membezakan kod yang ditulisnya dengan warna. Seorang kekasih mengenal mesej bunga yang diterimanya dengan warna. Seorang hamba Tuhan mengenal agungnya kuasa Tuhannya dengan warna. Seorang sahabat menyimpan memori bersama sahabatnya di dalam gambar dengan warna. Seorang pelajar mudah menghafal nota-notanya dengan warna. Dengan warna, kita mengenali, menghargai, menafsir dan memahami. Ini baru warna yang bisa kita lihat. Belum lagi dengan yang tak terlihat oleh kita.

Apa pula warna yang tak bisa kita lihat? Itulah warna yang hadir bersama memori dan insan-insan sekeliling. Warna yang tak bisa kita sentuh dan lihat, namun mampu kita rasa. Lain individu membawa terjemahan warna yang berbeza. Dan setiap warna-warna yang terlukis ini membawa emosi yang berbeza. Warna-warna inilah yang menghiasi malam dan sepi. Kita tak sendirian dengan kehadiran warna-warna ini.

Kerana itulah bagi saya warna itu berharga. Kerana setiap kali saya melihat sekeliling, ibu yang membelai anaknya, ayah yang mendukung sambil mencium anaknya, keluarga yang susah namun sentiasa tabah, orang yang sakit namun masih tersenyum, kebaikan dalam kesusahan, hikmah di balik kesedihan, kasih sayang dalam ikatan, saya melihat persepsi warna yang berbeza-beza. Dan saya belajar menghargai setiap warna yang hadir dalam hidup saya dari setiap warna-warna yang saya lihat ini :)

Hargailah warna-warna yang hadir dalam hidup. Kerana tak semua warna ini kekal walaupun di memori akan sentiasa kekal. Dan hargailah kebolehanmu melihat warna, kerana itu satu nikmat yang tak mampu kau ucap jika kau kehilangannya. Yang penting, percayalah mewarnai hidup dengan warna yang membahagiakan adalah pilihan kita. Mereka yang hadir dalam hidup tidak semuanya mampu beri warna yang menggembirakan, tapi terpulang pada kita bagaimana mahu mencorakkan warna-warna itu supaya terlihat indah dan menenangkan. Coraklah warna-warna ini dengan baik.


Semoga perkongsian ini memberi erti baru pada kalian tentang warna dan kehidupan :)

7/06/2017

SEE THE DIFFERENCE? :)

Yesterday i attended an english class which is conducted every week by my company on wednesday but changed to yesterday which is thursday because on wednesday the class was cancelled *one breath* fuhh


So back to my first point, we learnt about past continuous tense and future tense.


Talking about the past continuous tense, our teacher point out two example of statement and asked us to differentiate between those two. I would like to share with you the examples and please try to point out the difference, if you read this, and if you have time, and if you would like to treat me who might be talking alone to myself over here but trying to believe that someone is reading this *one breath again* fuhh


Okay here it is:
1st example
When we walked into the office, all the staff were having a meeting.

2nd example
when we walked into the office, all the staff had a meeting.


The statements looks a bit similar but it brings a totally different meaning. Why i share this with you and want you to figure out the difference? Because before this i have this mindset saying as long as you can deliver the information, grammar is not that important. But no, just from these examples, i realised how important grammar is.


Have fun and stay motivated! :)

RYTHMS

Have you ever met a person,
Who at first glance,
You are not attracted to,
But then you talk,
And with every word,
Every smile,
Every laugh,
Every sharing,
They become more beautiful,
Until you can't believe,
There was a moment,
You didn't think they were.

7/05/2017

#np PASTI SEMPURNA

Everyone has their own flaws,
You and me,
She and him,
Everyone.


When someone come and say they choose you,
To be part of their major future,
In other word, to be their lifetime partner,
You need to know,
They don't choose you because they want you to be perfect,
They already discovered some goods and bad in you,
They are aware of how much goods and bad they also have,
They are ready to accept whatever weaknesses you have,
To improve and make it beautiful together.


They choose you,
Because love doesn't choose perfectness to fit each other,
Love choose both flaws and goodness,
Love see different person in different way,
They choose you because love choose them to choose you,
Because the love they have for you,
See you specially in a way they can't explain themselves,
That they know you are the one.


Perfection is not needed for people who are in love,
They need flaws so they would discover the other side's goodness,
Flaws make you see how special you are to each other,
Flaws make you become humble to each other,
So you may know,
You are not the only one good for you partner,
But your partner as well,
You are a key to each other's lock.


You see,
Flaws keep you together,
Flaws are what that makes perfectness out of both of you,
It completes you,
And it completes your partner,
Allah knows why He create everyone with their own flaws,
Allah wants us to perfect each other,
For the sake of Him.


And to love is,
To see flaws as opportunity,
To help your partner and guide,
To take responsibility,
Of the promise you have made,
On the day you become halal to each other.


One of beautiful thing about love i have discovered is,
The more flaws you see in that someone,
The more you love them,
The more you want to make them feel special,
The more you adore them,
And you would never say it's a flaw,
But a special part of them which you will treasure :)


Dear you,
Honestly,
I got worried sometimes,
I have flaws that you may not discovered yet,
Even up to now you have discovered a lot i guess,
I have flaws that may need someone like you to fix it,
I may not be as good as you expect me to be,
Really, i have lots of flaws and i am far from perfect,
And i really hope you never give up on any part of me.


 Have courage dear.
You are always in my prayer.
Believe me.

6/22/2017

SEMUANYA BERMAKNA

Alhamdulillah 'ala kulli hal wa fii kulli hal :)
I found this pending post inside my draft. I guess i was trying to post this but held by the thought this post would be of no benefit to anyone. But when i read it back, it's meaningful. It was my sincerest thought and feelings i was trying to speak out. It deserves to be posted :)


Hampir 4 bulan dah bergelar isteri, syukur atas kurniaan ini. Lepas kahwin, tak sempat nak update blog langsung. Bukan tak sempat actually, tapi tak larat nak mengadap screen komputer lama-lama. Sebab apa? Later i'll tell you why hehe.


Siapa sangka, single effort can lead you to this meaningful journey. I still remember kali pertama saya notice suami saya setahun lebih yang lepas, first time perasan kami sama kelas, first time rasa nak tahu siapa dia, first time rasa curious tentang someone you just met. Walaupun dia mungkin tak notice saya waktu tu, but its great i did :)


I am a type of person yang bila curious pasal someone, i'll dig around and try to find out. Waktu tu tak perasan lagi kewujudan rasa interest yang luar biasa, i thought it was just a common curiousity. Well, i was wrong absolutely hehe. It turned out i'm falling for him but not sure when specifically. Dalam diam, i have feeling for him.


When i realized of it, i got the courage to give him the hints. Tak taulah dari mana datangnya keberanian macam tu, but i keep on saying things to give him hint that i like him through twitter and instagram. I even followed his blog and give comments whenever i want. Bila ingat balik rasa jugak macam, tak tau malu betul aku ni haha.


But guess what, its worth it. I tried at least and at the same time i never put hope that he'll notice my feeling. I knew he may have someone special already, but, yes, at least i tried to let him know. I even asked his close friends if he has someone special already and the answer makes me happy. I am lying if i say i have no single hope at all on him.


I tried so hard to get this man's attention with hints and all. Until one day, i received a proposal from some other man, and my heart got twisted. He is serious, so nak tak nak, i did my istikharah. I did it with full dependency on Him. I put aside all my feelings and leave it all to Him. I just want Him to show me the truth even if it might hurt.


I keep doing my istikharah but still i can't find any clue until one day, suddenly i got some strange strength to make a post about him (my husband). I make that blogpost not to let him read it, i don't know, i just wrote it out of nothing. I hope he read it but i didn't expect anything, means if he didn't read it i would be okay. How to say, hmm difficult to explain.


The next day after i posted it, this man texted me and asked me something related to the blogpost. Can you imagine, we never talk to each other face to face and suddenly he texted me asking about this, ya Allah i nearly cried thinking is this even possible or am i dreaming. He read my post!


Alang-alang dah malu, baik redah terus. So i decided to say it, now or never. That is the beginning. The beginning of so many new things i've never experience before.


And alhamdulillah i am now his wife, and is carrying our baby inside my stomach. *reason kenapa tak larat nak menghadap screen*


May Allah bless this beautiful journey with this amazing person insyaAllah. Because everything is so meaningful :)