"...The life of this world is nothing but an illusion."
[al-Hadeed - 57:20]

"With firm words, Allah makes the believers steadfast in

the life of this world and in the hereafter;
and Allah lets the wrongdoers go astray.
Allah does what He pleases."
[Ibrahim - 14:27]

Assalamu 'alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu,

A person deeply involved in this worldly life puts his faith on the apparent meanings. A man might think that wealth makes him strong, gives him status and adorns him. We think that the medicines we eat cure us. We think the food we eat keeps us alive otherwise we will die. Our deep involvement in this Dunya forces us to believe that those who have the material support are more successful than the others. However, if one were to explore the domains of destiny, one would experience the reality that these ideas are nothing but illusions. Allahu Ta'ala says in the Quran that the life of this world is nothing but an illusion of materials (wama al-hayatud-dunya illa mata'ul-ghuroor).

"Know that the life of this world is only play and amusement, a show and boasting among yourselves, a quest for greater riches and more children. Its similitude is that of vegetation that flourish after rain: the growth of which delights the tillers, then it withers and you see it turn yellow, soon it becomes dry and crumbles away. In the hereafter there will be either severe punishment or forgiveness from Allah and His good pleasure. The life of this world is nothing but an illusion." Al-Quran [al-Hadiid - 57:20]
Man wastes his lifetime running after something which has no effect on anything except that he ruins his hereafter. A believer is he who believes that nothing can happen without the Will of Allahu ta'ala. Therefore, his objective becomes to gain Allah's pleasure and not to run after this Dunya (World). No material possession can benefit or harm anyone if it is not desired by Allah. The principles say: Fire does not burn if Allah's Will is there. Cure comes from Allah, not from the doctor or the medicines. Nor does anyone die without His Will. Therefore, a Believer's trust should be on nothing and nothing but Allah alone, consequently Allah says: "..Allah is all sufficient for the person who puts his trust in Him..." [at-Talaaq - 65:3].

Prophet Dawud ('alaihi salam) was among the army of Talut ('alaihi salam). Recalling what Dawud ('alaihi salam) said to Jalut (Goliath): "You may have armor, shield, and sword, but I face you in the name of Allah, the Lord of the Israelites, Whose laws you have mocked. Today you will see that it is not the sword that kills but the will and power of Allah!". Companions of the Prophet Muhammad ('alaihi salato was-salam) had a great degree of faith. The Sahabah say to the Prophet (sallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam): "By Allah, if you were to ask us to cross this sea and you plunged into it, we would plunge into it with you; not a man would stay behind". It is with this faith that these men were prepared to do anything for Allah's Deen, without worrying about the effects of any physical law. Because they know the reality which we find difficult to accept. Ayaat of the Qur'an contain reality & wisdom in them. Allah says: "Wainnahu lahaqqu al-yaqeen" "And Verily, it (this Quran) is an absolute truth with certainty." [al-Haqqah - 69:51]. The laws contained in this Qur'an are valid for all times to come, therefore we should never let any doubt find way into our hearts. Observe the following.

"But those who knew with certainty that they were to meet their Lord, said:
'How often a small group overcame a mighty host by Allahs Leave?'
And Allah is with As-Sabirin (the patient ones)

[al-Baqarah - 2:249]

"...And there is no victory except from Allah.
Verily, Allah is All-Mighty, All-Wise."
[al-Anfaal - 8:10]

"O you who believe! If you help (in the cause of) Allah,
He will help you, and make your foothold firm.

[Muhammad - 47:7]

Whenever Muslims placed their Trust in Allah, Allah helped them. And whenever they relied on the worldly materials and numbers, they were deprived of Allah's help. Muslims lacked every material resource at Badr, but they were helped by Allah because of their Faith in Allah. But in Hunayn Muslims were well equipped in everything, however many of them relied on these resources until the earth became tight for them and they realised that it is not the material things that profit but it is the help of Allah that gives success. Therefore, a believer does not rely on the material resources, even if the resources are in abundance. 
"Allah has indeed helped you in many battlefields and on the day of Hunayn: when you were proud of your great numbers, but the numbers availed you nothing. The earth, with all its vastness, seemed to close in upon you, and you turned your backs and fled. But Allah sent down His Sakeenah (peace and tranquility) upon His Messenger and the believers and sent down to your aid those forces which you could not see, and punished the unbelievers. Thus was the recompense for the unbelievers." [at-Taubah - 9:25-26]
This world is made deceptive in such a way where the food obtained with illegal money tastes same as the food obtained with legal money. Similarly the criminals think there will be no recompense for their mischief. After all who would dare to stand against someone with the superpower? What superpower? Who is going to save them if Allah sends heavy stones or fireballs from the sky? Sayyidina Ibrahim ('alaihi salato was-salam) says: "why should I fear when the wrongdoers don't fear Allah?". Why fear from the criminals when they don't fear the Lord of the heavens and earth?

"[Ibrahim says:] Why should I fear your idols,
when you are not afraid of your actions of making them partners with Allah,
for which He has not given you any sanction?
Which one from the two parties of us deserves to feel secure?
Tell me, if you know the truth.

[al-An'aam - 6:81]

How nice is the case of those who struggle for their rights; strive for the rights of others; struggle to defend the land of the Prophets; or defend the Deen of Allah!

How nice is the case of those who struggle without any weapon! How about the example of Prophet Zakariyah (Zechariah, 'alaihi salam) who was slaughtered because he was upholding the Deen of Allah. How about Sayyidina Yahya (John, 'alaihi salam), who also lost his neck for upholding the Book of Allah. They also plotted against Sayyidina Isa (Jesus, 'alaihi salam) but he was saved by the Will of Allahu ta'ala. Every soul has to return one day, but the successful will be those who return with His pleasure and with the fear of nothing but His alone. We should hope to join these people too (insha'Allah).

Allah was watching those people before us. He is watching us too. Allah says: 

"Consider not that Allah is unaware of that which the Zalimoon do, but He gives them respite up to a Day when the eyes will stare in horror. (They will be) hastening forward with necks outstretched, their heads raised up (towards the sky), their gaze returning not towards them and their hearts empty (from thinking because of extreme fear)." [Ibrahim - 14:42-43].

"So think not that Allah will fail to keep His Promise to His Messengers.
Certainly, Allah is All-Mighty, - All-Able of Retribution.
[Ibrahim - 14:47]

If we could have even a glimpse of the Majesty of Rahmaan, we would start to run over the oceans. If we could even recognise the beauty of our souls as being His beautiful gifts, we would not hesitate to move the high mountains. And if we could even understand that His Word, the Qur'an is the Absolute Truth, we would start to see the huge mountains moving aside from our path.

Now, lets learn from the instructions of Rasulullah (sallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam) given to Abdullah Ibn Abbas (may Allah be pleased with him):
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: " Boy, I would like to teach you something. Be careful and follow Allah's commands perseveringly. Allah will protect you. You should safeguard His rights, and you will always find Him with you; if you need something, ask Allah, and when you need help, solicit Allah alone for the same. Bear it in mind that if all the people combined together to grant you some benefit, they would not be able to do so except that which Allah has determined for you and that if all of them were combined together to do you harm, they would not be able to do so except that which Allah has determined for you. The pens have been set aside and the writings of the book of fate have become dry." [ Tirmidhi]
"Glory be to your Lord, the Lord of Honor, He is free from what they ascribe to Him! Peace be on the Messengers, and praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds."
Al-Quran [37:180-182]



Tatkala bibir berbicara tentang tarbiyah 
Segalanya tampak mudah 
Tetapi kenikmatan tarbiyah, kemanisan tarbiyah 
Bukanlah seindah lontaran kata-kata  
Kerana tarbiyah itu timbul rasanya hanya dari hati

  Ada waktu diri sedih, bertangis dan bersendu 

Memandang pada lemahnya diri
Menghitung pada ibadah yang tak seberapa

Melihat pada iman yang sememangnya lemah dan nipis

Hatta lebih nipis dari lapisan kulit bawang

Ada waktu juga diri sedih dan menangis 

Mengenangkan nasib pada diri

Melihatkan cara hidup sebegini

Memikirkan hati dan perasaan yang bercelaru
Tapi itu semua salah diri
Kerana lalai untuk 
selitkan tarbiyah dalam setiap yang terjadi

Pesan Ilahi pada hambaNya itu terlalu banyak

Tetapi dirilah yang perlu menghuraikan setiap tarbiyah itu

Nikmatnya tarbiyah kerana ia mampu 

Mengubah musibah menjadi muhibbah

Mengubah perit jadi manis

Mengubah sedih jadi gembira

Mengubah yang lemah jadi kuat

Mengubah yang jatuh untuk bangkit

"Wahai diri, segalanya akan lebih indah andai diselitkan kemanisan tarbiyah dalam setiap perkara yang berlaku. Maka carilah tarbiyah itu dan pujuklah kesedihanmu dengan janji-jani Allah."


Alhamdulillah. Cukup 2 bulan dah kami intern, hari ni dah masuk bulan yang ke-3. InsyaAllah dalam 4 minggu ni akan habiskan intern. Teringat hari pertama pergi kerja. Sepatutnya masuk office pukul 8.30 pagi, tape sesat punya pasal, lebih dari sejam melilau area cyberjaya and putrajaya. Yang sedihnya bila dengan happynya saya follow signboard menuju ke cyberjaya, end up yang saya jumpa jalan mati. Dua kali pulak tu, hmm nampak sangat buta jalan. Nak menangis pun ada time tu, memikirkan dahlah itu hari pertama masuk kerja, unexpected sungguh. Semuanya gara-gara terlepas satu simpang. Macam nilah orang buta jalan bila silap sikit bab-bab arah ni. Tapi hari ni bila ingat balik, nak tergelak pun ada. Mana taknya, sebab nervous sangat, boleh saya terlupa nak tengok waze? Haha, apalah maryam ni. Haha. Belajar dari pengalaman. Sampai office pagi tu dalam pukul 8.45 pagi jugak. Tapi alhamdulillah che azliza faham bila saya cakap saya sesat, malu jugak, tapi haha nak buat macamana kan. Budak uia semua skali dalam 26 orang kalau tak silap. 4 lelaki and the rest perempuan. Sampai ke hari ni alhamdulillah banyak jugak benda baru yang kami belajar especially pasal ic design. Paling best part kena buat shcematic and layout design. Susah and memang perlu ketelitian, tapi sebab minat kot, jadi rasa best. Kami diagih ikut team, team saya 9 orang. Supervisor, encik aiman pun sangat baik and friendly, mudah masuk dengan student. Syukur juga, ada 3 orang usrahmate saya yang dapat intern kat icmic sekali. Bulan Ramadhan baru ni kami propose untuk buat usrah untuk perempuan sahaja dan alhamdulillah che azliza benarkan, siap provide tempat khas untuk kami buat usrah. Seronok sangat, sambil merapatkan ukhuwah, sambil tu refresh hati dan minda selain dapat sama-sama beri peringatan dalam kesibukan kerja. Hmm, conclusionnya intern alhamdulillah seronok, tapi still, tak boleh lawan zaman belajar, serius lagi best hihi.

Apa ye saya nak cakap pasal ramadhan kali ni? Hmm. Banyak sebenarnya, tapi tak tau nak cakap macamana. Tapi detik saya sedang menaip ni, bila terkenang ramadhan baru ni, rasa sebak pulak. Ramadhan kali ni bawa seribu satu rasa yang saya sendiri susah nak tafsir. Dengan berita kematiannya, dengan keadaan saudara kita di Palestin yang diserang teruk oleh Israel, dengan konflik hati dan perasaan yang terumbang-ambing. Tapi dalam derita sentiasa ada bahagia, dalam gembira mungkin terselit juga duka. Ramadhan bawa erti yang mendalam dalam hidup kita. Melatih kita untuk jaga hati, jaga iman, jaga nafsu, dan banyak lagi. Yang utama sekali, supaya kita bertaqwa. Setting apa yang kita letak dalam kepala dari awal ramadhan, itu bawa kesan pada hasilnya di akhir ramadhan. Tapi yang paling terkesan sepanjang ramadhan ni, pada saya adalah keadaan saudara kita di Gaza. Dari hari pertama hingga ke akhir ramadhan, mereka diserang secara berterusan. Melihat adik-adik kecil, bayi, ibu-ibu, ayah-ayah, yang dilayan seperti makhluk yang tak punya perasaan, tak mampu rasanya menahan air mata. Setiap kali mendengar qunut nazilah dibacakan, rasa sebak sangat. Mengenang mereka yang tak sudah-sudah dianiaya. Mereka umpama keluarga kita sendiri. Sakit mereka, sakit juga kita. Somehow berat mata yang memandang, berat lagi bahu yang memikul. Tapi dalam masa yang sama, dapat inspirasi dari kemunculan dan semangat jihad tentera al-qassam. Pendirian dan jihad mereka buat hati yang tak kuat ni rasa terdorong untuk terus buat yang terbaik untuk agama insyaAllah. Mereka dah buat yang terbaik di sana, kita di sini pun ada tanggungjawab yang perlu dilaksanakan. Nak bantu mereka kenalah bantu diri kita sendiri juga. Doa jangan putus, tapi dalam masa yang sama amanah kita di sani jangan diabai. Sepanjang ramadhanlah, kita nampak siapa diri kita, bagaimana hubungan kita dengan nafsu, dan bagaimana hubungan kita dengan Allah bila dibebaskan sebentar dari bisikan syaitan. Moga berlalunya ramadhan bawa erti dan makna yang lebih lagi dalam hidup kita, dan paling penting, bawa kita lebih dekat dengan Dia. InsyaAllah.

Bermulanya 1 syawal, menandakan berlalunya ramadhan. Sedih, namun perlu juga dira'i kemenangan berpuasa selama sebulan. Namun syawal kali ini juga terasa lebih sayu dari yang sebelumnya. Hari pertama syawal, khutbah disampaikan oleh ayah. Setiap kali ayah sebut tentang keadaan di Gaza, ayah sebak dan menangis. Kami yang mendengar pun turut mengalirkan air mata. Pilu sangat, mengenang saudara kita menunaikan solat sunat 'aidilfitri dalam suasana yang tidak aman, tapi masih teguh berdiri, rukuk dan sujud kerana Allah. Memang rugilah kalau kita tak bersyukur dengan keamanan pagi raya di sini. Bersyukurlah, dan dalam masa yang sama, muhasabahlah. Kita sama-sama. InsyaAllah. Jadi nak ceritanya, raya pertama, kami beraya di pahang. Malam tu baru bertolak ke terengganu. Alhamdulillah sempat jumpa sanak-saudara, eratkan silaturrahim, cari redha dan cinta Allah melalui niat kita nak menghubungkan silaturrahim tu. Allah cinkan hambaNya yang saling menghubungkan silaturrahim kerana Dia :)

Macam yang saya cakap, dalam gembira, kadang-kadang terselit duka. Sebagai peringatan untuk kita yang mungkin terleka, supaya balik semula pada Dia. Dalam bergelak tawa, bersyukurlah dengan sedikit ujian itu, ertinya Dia masih beri perhatian pada kita. Dalam ramai-ramai orang yang kita jumpa, tak semua orang mampu puaskan expectation kita. Macam kita juga, tak mampu puaskan expectation semua orang. Alhamdulillah, Allah kirimkan sebentar duka, di hari raya baru-baru ni. Saya akui, saya sempat lost sekejap, sebab saya tak tahu nak luahkan pada siapa saat air mata saya betul-betul di birai mata. End up, menangislah sorang-sorang. Bukan sorang-sorang, saya tahu Allah ada dengan saya hihi. Masa tu rasa sedih sangat, tapi dalam masa yang sama, taknak jugak orang tahu kita tengah sedih. Takde siapa yang salah dalam hal ni, cuma diri sendiri yang kena lebih kuat berhadapan keadaan macam tu di masa akan datang. Tapi alhamdulillah, lihat wajah adik-beradik, saudara-mara, ibu ayah, yang tersenyum gembira, buat hati rasa ahh tak perlu ingat pun sedih sedih ni. Lupakan part sedih, banyak lagi benda yang buat kita happy sebenarnya. Lagipun ini sangatlah jauh beza dengan kesedihan saudara kita di Gaza. Okey kuat maryam kuat! Hmmhh, at last mesti kena ada motivation dari diri sendiri jugak akhirnya. Orang boleh hulurkan tangan bila kita jatuh, tapi untuk bangun dan sambut huluran tangan tu kena datang dari kita sendiri jugak, dan alhamdulillah, Allah bagi saya kekuatan untuk move on dan lupakan perasaan sedih semua tu. Hati ni kena lebih kuat nampaknya, kita boleh kan hati. Boleh insyaAllah :)

Alhamdulillah. Cumanya, dah lama sangat tak jogging. Sejak intern ni, banyak main badminton je, jogging kurang. Balik kampung raya ni lagilah, apa pun tak buat. Tapi still alhamdulillah, berpeluh jugak ke sana sini masuk keluar dapur apa semua hihi. Tapi serius, bila berpeluh, rasa sihat. Yaada yaada. Yang penting, syukur Allah masih beri peluang kita bernafas dan berjalan dan bergerak sana sini takde masalah. Nikmat yang sangat besar dah tu. Syukur.

Karakternya berbolak-balik. Kadang-kadang terumbang-ambing, tak tahu ke mana arah tuju. Kadang-kadang tertanya, kat mana hati ni sebenarnya, jasadnya di sini, tapi rohnya ke mana. Haaaa pandailah maryam, hati pun boleh ada roh dan jasad. Hihik. I admit my weak self. Tak mampu jaga hati dengan baik, tak mampu sembunyikan perasaan halus yang dah lama bertamu. Asalnya nak diamkan saja, tapi tak mampu, tengoklah, lemah kan saya :(. Saya tahu, bila dah start suka tu susah. Lagi takut kalau kita suka tu pada orang yang salah. Ya Allah, bantu hamba jaga hati yang lemah ini. Hmm, sebab tu perlunya istikharah. Dan sebab tulah kena jaga hati dari awal kan. Bila rindu, rasa payah, tapi itulah mujahadah. Kita boleh jadikan rindu tu mujahadah. Ia tak semanis yang kita sangka, tapi Allah tahu takat mana kita cuba, Dia akan bantu insyaAllah. Banyakkan berdoa di samping beristikharah. Perasaan ini juga ujian dari Dia,nak tengok macamana kita jaga hati dan sejauh mana pergantungan kita pada Dia dalam keadaan macam ni. Ya Allah, jika dia baik untukku dan memang untukku, mudahkan jalan ini. Jika tidak, jauhkan dia dari hati yang lemah ini.

Nampaknya ada kemungkinan adik saya yang kawin dulu. Walid nak suruh saya try tengok budak kelantan tu, tapi hmm kalau dah hati kat lain, nak buat macamana. sebelum ada apa-apa kepastian dari mana-mana pihak, saya prefer diamkan diri je dulu. Takpe, jodoh ni rezeki. Ada rezeki adalah insyaAllah. Kalau rezeki adik sampai dulu pun, kita tumpang gembira jugaklah kan ;)