I dont know how to express this. But since i have to (if not things gonna suck more), i have to.

One thing i know for sure, i love a subject. But since midterm exam, i dont know why i start to stuck somewhere. Im not sure where but im sure it must be somewhere. It caused you a lot more strain when you like it and the lecturer is superkind but you cannot perform well. Isk2.

What to do? I must struggle more. I must find a way out of this confusion. I must survive. Im an engineering student. There is no way i find no hardship at all in achieving pure-engineering level. I must face these with positiveness. Look at the positive side, never be at negative. There must be a way, there must.

I yearn guidance from the Most Gracious, Who Own everything in heaven and on earth.
Yes, in every tears, there is way. Allah is there. Always there. Have trust maryam :)


Along this journey
i see many things appear
many things happen
many of them

I thought its not that difficult
i thought i could face this well
very well

i trust myself too much
despite this weak self inside
i end up lacking in something
when i miss a rememberence
of something more and most important
which i should have stick to
since the very beginning

I realized
yes of course i must have trust in myself
i must let me be strong
but at the same time
i must not let myself endure too much
i must let tears flow
as my heart cry in pain

Its not that to let myself become that weak
just to let pain inside flow away
let them go
pain, anger, anything
anything which hurt the hiding me
i must let them go

along this journey till today
i think
i learned something

There is no way i can be strong
unless i take good care of myself
unless i take good care of the inside me
my heart, my soul
i found one trustful way
take good care of my relationship
with HIM

i can choose
which option
because i have the opportunity to choose
HE gives me opportunities
which is best
which will lead me closer to HIM at best
HE wants me to grasp that
but surely that choice
HE let me decide
HE wants to see
do i know what this test is for?
will i come back to HIM?

the best?
depends on us
i can choose, you can also choose
the opportunity to choose
ALLAH gives it to everybody
to each of us

Getting hurt
i may not have the opportunity to make a choice on it
but i have other options
i have opportunity to choose which way to cure it
HE gives me total chance on it
but i must be careful
as each option i choose lead me to different way

this is real
i said this with all that i have been through
if i have HIM
i have strength
i have better choice
better acception
in a better way

May Allah ease our path
may HE bless us all



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Kosong yang sepi
Sepi yang lari

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