AFTER A LONG TIME

The talks we had as we looked at each other, the stories that only we knew, i guess i can't erase them. I can't throw them away, i can't forget them.

For the first time in a while, i look around these streets. Whenever I pass this street, the good memories, they keep floating up in my head. So i stop my footsteps.

After a long time, i am here right now. Because i long for that time.

Though i tried to live without knowing, i keep thinking about it. That's how i am. It keeps coming into my eyes. The times we spent together, the memories, they fall like stars.

I try to pretend that i'm not, but i keep thinking of you. How about you?

If i wait here, will i be able to see you? Then will i be able to tell you how i feel right now?

I miss you. I'm missing you. Because you're not here, because there are so many empty things.


Today again, i long for that spot. And my footsteps won't move, and i call out to you.

*Tears fall.
(Oh Allah, help me. Keep my heart preserved.)

KITA BELAJAR MEMAAFKAN JOM :)

Saya terjumpa satu quote, dan saya berkenan dengan maksudnya. Teringin nak kongsi dengan kawan-kawan :)




Do everything with a mind that lets go. Don't accept praise or gain or anything else. If you let go a little you will have a little peace. If you let go a lot you will have a lot of peace. If you let go completely you will have complete peace.




Betul, bila kita lepaskan, kita akan rasa tenang. Walaupun saya tahu, bukan senang bagi sesetengah orang. Lebih-lebih lagi bila apa yang orang tu lakukan betul-betul menyakitkan kita. Saya faham.






Tapi apa salahnya jika kita cuba. Kalau rasa susah jugak, cuba lafazkan. Contohnya, 'saya maafkan si fulan'. Mana tahu, lepas lafazkan rasa lebih lega. Lebih seronok nak maafkan orang. Manalah tahu kan. Boleh jadik begitu.




Saya tak suruh orang untuk jadi seorang yang pemaaf. Saya cuma mengajak. Mengajak pun untuk mencuba dulu. Mana tahu, percubaan menjadi. Tak salah mencuba kan. Oh ye, dan saya ajak ni bukan pembaca je, diri saya sendiri jugak. Sebab saya tahu, diri saya pun masih banyak kurangnya. Masih perlukan tarbiyah dari sekeliling.




Satu lagi saya nak kongsi. Saya pernah pergi satu ta'lim ni. Main topic, kasih sejarak dua jari. Tentulah berkenaan ukhuwah kan. Ustaz tu ada cakap something.




Tarbiyah yang sebenar adalah kehidupan.




And, i think that's it :) 

MESSAGE ABOUT LOVE

Soal cinta memang akrab dengan soal hati. Oleh sebab tulah hati perlu berada dalam keadaan sentiasa berhati-hati dengan memperbanyakkan istighfar. Bimbang rasa suka dan cinta itu terheret ke jalan yang tidak diredhaiNya. Nauzubillahiminzalik.

But just to make it clear, love is natural. It enters the heart and leaves at will, and we don't have much control over it. While we don't have control over love, we do posses control over the actions it can lead us to. In essence, love is good, it's not a sin. But it is the actions that result from it that are of concern.

Saya faham bukan sesuatu yang senang nak menjaga hati bila perasaan suka pada seseorang itu wujud. Allah sediakan ganjaran yang besar bagi mereka yang mampu menjaga hati mereka sebaiknya. Bukan calang-calang orang yang mampu berbuat demikian, cuma yang benar-benar kuat imannya yang mampu. Tapi kan lebih baik kita cuba. Ingat sahabatku, tiada sikit pun usaha kita ke arah kebaikan yang tak dinilai oleh Allah. Sebesar zarah sekalipun, Allah tetap akan nilai. Sifat Allah Yang Maha Baik mengatasi kemurkaanNya. Allahuakbar :)

Allah berfirman yang bermaksud :

"Orang yang beriman dan tenteram hati mereka dengan zikrullah. Ketahuilah, dengan zikrullah itu tenang tenteramlah hati mereka."

(Surah Ar-Ra'd, Ayat 28)

Banyakkan berzikir, tenangkan fikiran, minta petunjuk dari Allah selalu. Insya-Allah Dia bantu, insya-Allah Dia permudahkan jalan. Semoga kita semua dapat sentiasa menjaga hati dan perasaan, dan semoga dikurniakan ketenangan dalam apa pun situasi. May Allah bless.

MEANINGFUL

Friend, let us know each other more, will you? :)

For any big or small mess i ever made, i'm truly sorry. For any misunderstanding which ever happened before, let us 'muhasabah' again. Something in us might be lacking and maybe we should start making it better.

Because i have you, i found so many colours in life. You brighten my days, without me realizing. Until the day you have to go far far away. I started to sense, the meaning of having you by my side.

It's meaningful, really.

Too meaningful that it is able to make me smile in tears. Yesterday has passed. Today is happening. And as for tomorrow, i can only hope we could be just like yesterday again. No awkwardness nor silent. Comfortable being together, in silence or loud.

So friend, i accept my own proposal to know you even more, hihi. Love you, lillahita'ala :)

MARRIAGE

It's good enough if by the end of 3rd year or 4th year, i already got engaged. I really suggest myself an early marriage. Haha, only if i got the chance insya-Allah.

Kenapa tiba-tiba post pasal marriage ni kan? Hihi, well, just now saya ada kelas parenting kat kuliyyah of education. We got quite an interesting instructor. She originally studied here in IIUM. But already graduated long long time ago. Its been about 23 years already since she started working here. Wah, lama tu.

Then we were divided into groups, each group with 7 members. Just a group of discussion. She gave us topic regarding students who do not have partner yet before graduating, what will happened after they graduate? We talked a lot while discussing. Some seemed out of original topic haha.

After such a lot of discussion about matchmaking marriage, love before marriage, delayed marriage, and many else, the feeling of wanting to get married seems constructing. Haha i don't know why myself. But, that feeling flows with the will to make it because of Allah. To avoid fitnahs. To complete half of our iman. To get closer to Allah with someone leading us. Not just want to feel how is it to be loved or what so ever, no. Absolutely not. That kind happiness and all, insya-Allah we will treasure them after that. Love after marriage especially hehe. What i am talking about, hopefully anyone who read this could understand well. And please don't misunderstood any of what i'm trying to say.

My father encourage me to get married early. But because i don't have the chance (or i can say 'anyone') yet, i'll just wait until the right time come. Allah does not let me yet because HE knows, i'm not ready yet. HE knows best, and yes, i trust Him.

So MARRIAGE, greet me when i'm already prepared for you. Mentally and physically. And if by chance you come earlier than i expected, i'll try to make the choice well insya-Allah. 


BE GOOD FIRST, THEN YOU'LL GET A GOOD ONE. INSYA-ALLAH.
Wallahua'lam.

PLEASE CONSIDER OTHERS

Yesterday we went out for breakfast at serdang. Then macam biasa orang datang mintak order. Tetiba perasan asap berkepul-kepul dari belakang. Sampai pening kepala saya dibuatnya. Rupa-rupanya orang belakang merokok. My parents sat right behind him, and he was still able to do that. Rasa sedih bila tengok orang buat macam tu. Takde unsur respect pada yang lebih tua, malah dengan bangga menghembur-hemburkan asap rokoknya ke kiri ke kanan. Tak terfikir ke dia berapa ramai orang sekeliling dia yang berisiko lebih besar dari dia hanya kerana asap rokok dia?

His partner was also doing the same thing. Talking while eating while smoking while drinking. I don't understand why they still have the guts to do that even after people have given them signs to stop immediately. You are risking people around. That's the fact, and while knowing this fact, you can still proudly smoking in the middle of people. O Allah, show them the right path in this. Sedarkan mereka, sudah ramai yang terkorban kerana asap rokok.

I'm not saying i hate every and each smoker. I know not all of them are like this. I don't want to create negative image of them because as i said, some of them consider this well. And also, i'm not trying to make a statement that they cannot smoke anymore nor it's prohibited from now on. No, absolutely not. This is not what i'm trying to do. It's okey if you really cannot leave this habit (But i still hope they can try reduce this habit), but please, at least consider the others, consider the place you want to smoke, consider the effects on others. If you cannot help people with good things, then at least don't make life difficult for them.

Apapun, saya doakan semoga Allah bukakan pintu hati para perokok supaya mereka dapat muhasabah balik baik buruk tabiat merokok ni. Dan semoga mereka juga dapat kurangkan tabiat ni. Biarlah slow slow pun, asalkan ada pertambahan baik kan hehe. Akhir kata, maaf jika ayat saya di sini agak kasar atau mengguris hati sesiapa. Semoga Allah berkati kita semua. Amin.

FOR YOU ARE SOMEONE

When everybody put hopes on you, you will discover sense of responsibility. From here on, you will start to realize, that you can be reliable towards others.

But remember, do not be too proud because of that, just stay grateful and set your intention right.

Have trust in you yourself and make a wish to do your very best.

Be sincere in whatever situation, and always act rationally without letting any of your decision get influenced by your personal emotion.

Accept others opinion as long as it may lead to a good result.

Always remind yourself, good things you did come from Allah and bad things you did come from your own self. Then you will never involve yourself with the crowd of proud.

Don't do good things to get praise from others, do it because you are sincerely doing it. With hopes that Allah's bless will always be there for you.

Stay humble, stay calm. And once again, stay grateful.

Always.

Last but not least, of course, be happy. Because you have been choosen to be someone.


So prove that you are really someone. Hehe :D

DISTANCE BETWEEN US

Baru ni saya dapat berita seorang teman sekolah saya yang boleh dikatakan antara yang rapat sangat dengan saya dulu akan sambung belajar ke uk insya-Allah. Dia akan sambung degree di sana, and ditanggung mara. Alhamdulillah, saya tumpang gembira dengar berita tu.

Tapi dalam masa yang sama, rasa sebak pun ada. Teringat rapatnya kitorang time form 1 sampai form 3 dulu. Even sampai sekarang pun kitorang selalu jugak keluar jalan sama-sama. Saya tahu saya rasa sebak sebab saya sayangkan dia. Walaupun kami dah tak mampu untuk jumpa selalu tiap hari macam dulu, tapi kami tetap dekat antara satu sama lain. Hati kami terasa dekat.

Saya gembira dia dapat sambung belajar di sana, tapi dalam masa yang sama, saya rasa sayu jugak bila terkenang yang dia akan pergi jauh. Masing-masing semakin jauh membawa haluan masing-masing dalam hidup. Hari dulu kita begitu dekat, tapi hari ni dah lain. Dia akan pergi jauh, dan saya pun akan bawa haluan saya sendiri.

Walaubagaimanapun, ukhuwah ni akan kami jaga dan pelihara. Supaya bukan jarak yang menentukan dekat atau jauh ikatan antara kami, tapi punca kekuatan ikatan ini, yakni Allah SWT. Insya-Allah, jika hubungan ini tercipta elok keranaNya, kekallah ia sampai ke syurga. Amin.

With full of love specially for you, dayang :)

DISAPPEARING

Bila masa berlalu, teman yang rapat kian jauh terasa.

Bila hati terkaku sayu, air mata mengalir lesu.

Bila detik manis di suatu ketika bermain di minda, senyum hiba terukir tanpa sedar.

Ya Allah, andai ukhuwah kami terikat keranaMu, eratkan ia sampai bila-bila. Tapi jika ia bukan benar-benar keranaMu, sedarkan kami, ampunkanlah kami. Detik ini, hati menangis sayu mengenang jarak antara kita kini. Semoga Allah berkati :')

CINTA ITU MOTIVASI

Saya masih ingat ada satu ketika bila saya down sangat, saya lihat wajah mak ayah saya yang tersenyum ikhlas menghulurkan sokongan. Bagaikan memberitahu saya mereka sentiasa ada bersama. Supaya yakin dengan Allah dan kuat hadapi segalanya. Juga pelukan mesra yang menyumbang semangat dalam diri, yang sering menjadi inspirasiku sebagai anak.

Saya ingat lagi gelak tawa adik-beradik saya yang cuba untuk hiburkan hati saya bila dalam duka. Gurau senda yang mengusik tangkai hati, semuanya segar dalam ingatan saya. Perkongsian manis untuk satu kisah hidup yang sementara ini.

Saya ingat lagi senyuman sahabat yang sentiasa ada di sisi berkongsi suka dan duka. Bahu yang sentiasa sedia untuk dijadikan tempat melepaskan tangis bila masa kesedihan hadir menyelubungi. Pendengar yang baik buat keresahan hati yang perlukan tempat bercerita dan berkongsi rasa.

Saya ingat lagi sepupu-sepupu selaku teman sepermainan sewaktu kanak-kanak lagi. Hingga kini dewasa bersama mengejar pelbagai impian dalam hidup. Pernah suatu ketika berkongsi impian dan angan-angan itu ini, terlupa sebentar akan manisnya saat itu. Detik yang akan dirinduinya bila usia mencecah dewasa. I miss them already. And i will always insya-Allah.

Saya ingat lagi teman-teman sekolah yang dulu erat dan sentiasa bersama. Namun terpaksa akui perpisahan kan muncul jua bila mana masanya tiba. Seerat mana pun, jalan yang dilalui kan berbeza. Kini ia sudahpun berbeza. Meskipun sukar untuk bersua muka, namun jejak memori yang pernah kita lakar, kan tetap segar dalam ingatan insya-Allah.

SIAPA MAMPU MENDUGA, ESOK, LUSA, DAN HARI-HARI BERIKUTNYA. SEMUANYA TAK MAMPU KITA DUGA. HARI INI KITA MESRA, TAPI ESOK MUNGKIN BERBEZA. MUNGKIN KITA CUMA MAMPU TERSENYUM DAN BERTEGUR SAPA SEBENTAR SAJA. MAKA HARGAILAH SEMUA YANG KITA ADA KINI. HARAPAN ORANG PADA KITA JUGA PERLU DIHARGAI.

Namun setiap dan segala rasa cinta yang saya perolehi ini, tak terkira banyaknya. Tak terucap oleh kata betapa bahagianya saya berada di sisi insan-insan ini. Insan-insan yang Allah hadirkan ini adalah tanda Allah juga ada. Milik-Nyalah kita semua, dan milik-Nya jugalah setiap rasa cinta dan kasih sayang ini. Ye benar, cinta-cinta ini motivasiku. Motivasi untuk terus kuat hadapi jalan hidup yang penuh liku. Allah sedang buktikan, Dia tak pernah tinggalkan hamba-Nya terkapai-kapai sendirian dalam hidup. Dia sentiasa bersama, tanpa kita sedar hadir dalam kasih sayang insan-insan sekeliling. Syukur pada-Mu Ya Allah, untuk cinta-Mu yang sering menjadi motivasiku.

INNALLAHA MA'ANA.